It's Up For Grabs Now
Friday, February 28, 2003
Hansard part 2, and it's only fair to do the player everyone talks about - even MPs and Lords:
"It describes how David Beckham can bend a ball in mathematical and physical terminology" (Dr Ian Gibson, Labour, Norwich North, 18/12/02)
"I do not believe that the effects would even be of the order of the injury to David Beckham's foot" (Rev. Martin Smyth, UUP, Belfast South, 18/7/02)
"Does the next David Beckham exist out there?" (Baroness Ashton of Upholland, crossbench, 19/6/02)
"I begin by saying to the noble Lord that Beckham's left foot is not bad" (Baroness Ashton of Upholland, 23/5/02)
"...from Premier League stars, such as David Beckham, down to the Halifax Town goalkeeper" (Lord Faulkner of Worcester, Labour, 8/5/02)
"if anything indicates the state of the Conservative party today, it is that question." (Roger Gale, Conservative, North Thanet - in Prime Minister's Questions! - 17/4/02)
"Would that qualify David Beckham, for example, to become a PE teacher?" (Phil Willis, Lib Dem, Harrogate & Knaresborough, 16/4/02)
"I am not just talking about David Beckham" (Lord Lea of Crondall, Labour, 6/2/02)
"The Football Foundation is all about such projects. Investment must be secured over the long term if we are to discover the David Beckhams of the future" (Tom Watson, Labour, West Bromwich East, 30/1/02)
"Does he think that he is David Beckham?" (Lord Stoddart of Swindon, Labour, 22/1/02)
"He also takes a pretty mean free kick" (Lord McNally, Lib Dem, 20/12/01)
"Is the right hon. Lady not further embarrassed that the Government of a country that can produce the perfection of Michael Owen and David Beckham can make such a Horlicks of producing a national stadium in which to display their talents?" (Alistair Burt, Conservative, North East Bedfordshire, 19/12/01)
"The public want... great free kicks from the likes of David Beckham" (Parmjit Dhanda, Labour, Gloucester, 11/12/01)
"...there would be two David Beckhams." (Dr Ian Gibson, 29/11/01)
"We are in danger of taking away from the nation the joy of a successful and beautiful David Beckham free kick" (Parmjit Dhanda, 24/10/01)
"We all watched with growing fear and disbelief until David Beckham, to his huge personal credit, again redeemed us in the final few seconds" (Simon Hughes, Lib Dem, Southwark North and Bermondsey, 15/10/01)
"Indeed, I will even go along with applauding a David Beckham goal" (Dr Ian Gibson, 15/10/01)
"Have you read about David Beckham? They've caught him again speeding. What a lad he is--he gets away with it." (Tom Cox, Labour, Tooting, 9/2/01)
"Can he tell me why we should not produce 15 David Beckhams" (Dr Ian Gibson, 19/12/00)
"I do not know that David Beckham is worth cloning after this week" (Dr Ian Gibson, who for a Norwich fan appears to be obsessed with the man, 17/11/00)
"The very idea that Britain will get allied to the weak, pathetic euro at this time is like asking David Beckham to sign on for Shrewsbury" (Dennis Skinner, Labour, Bolsover, 18/5/00)
"the Leader of the Opposition--with his new, trendy, David Beckham haircut" (Secretary of State for Health and future Beckham healing offer maker Alan Milburn, Labour obviously, Darlington, 22/3/00)
"David Beckham recently lost his driving licence. That was extremely serious for him." (Lord Mackenzie of Framwellgate, Labour, 20/1/00)
"...what David Beckham wears under his football shorts" (David Drew, Labour, Stroud, 12/1/00)
"...from Charles Dickens to Noel Gallagher to David Beckham to Red Rum" (John Grogan, Labour, Selby, 28/10/99)
"even in the case of someone such as David Beckham, there is a rather clear link between performance and payment" (Lord Sainsbury of Turville, Labour, 12/10/99)
"It also illustrated challenging behaviour on the part of David Beckham" (Lord (Brian) Rix of Whitehall, crossbench, 2/7/98)
"I can assume only that, like much of the rest of the country, they are spending the morning sticking pins into wax models of David Beckham" (Damian Green, Conservative, Ashford, 1/7/98)
Thursday, February 27, 2003
As part of a semi-regular feature, we've decided it might be worth putting club's names through Hansard to see what sort of parliamentary press they've received since 1989. To start, Leicester City:
"I know that she was depressed when she read the sports pages recently because like me she is a supporter of Leicester City football club" (Keith Vaz, Labour, Leicester East, 18/11/02)
"Many people think that the armed forces are Leicester City, Manchester United and Chelsea writ large" (Bruce George, Labour, Walsall South, 17/2/00)
"The task force particularly commended the schemes at Leicester City for tackling racism" (Lord Faulkner of Worcester, Labour, 10/11/99)
"some Leicester City fans near my constituency are suing the Football Association for distress" (Andrew Robathan, Conservative, Blaby, 5/3/97)
"Derby, Sunderland up in the north-east, and--which is the other team that has just been promoted?" (John Greenway, Conservative, Ryedale, 7/6/96)
"I am determined to be nice about both my Stoke colleagues despite the fact that Leicester City will be playing Stoke on Sunday night" (Keith Vaz, 5/5/96)
"Only this week we received the welcome news that Leicester City football club has remained in the second division" (Keith Vaz, 15/5/91)
"She saw Leicester City play at Filbert street, before they started their decline to the bottom of the second division, from which they will soon emerge" (Keith Vaz again!, 30/10/89)
"it will ensure that clubs such as Leicester City in my constituency will not be able to afford the improvements that are necessary" (go on, guess - yes, it's the right honourable member for Leicester East, 27/10/89)
"Last Saturday I met supporters from Leicester City football club" (and again!, 17/7/89)
"Recently, (Denis Howell) visited Leicester City football club and was given a tremendous reception by the supporters. We went on to the pitch and presented him with... a compulsory identity card." (and one more time, Keith Vaz, 27/6/89)
Wednesday, February 26, 2003
Tuesday, February 25, 2003
Saturday, February 22, 2003
Ajax's top scorer relegated to the youth team - and this is supposed to help their push to the top of the table how?
Wednesday, February 19, 2003
"They say it's your birthday..." - actually, that's the problem at Southampton. All our online mates forgot our last birthday, but we didn't storm out of, er, our connection
Tuesday, February 18, 2003
Ah, that Kevin Phillips - isn't he a one? Asking the policeman who stopped him for speeding to add the points to Sunderland's total! Actually, shouldn't laugh, Blatter will have that one in front of a committee meeting soon enough
Sunday, February 16, 2003
Quick catching-up session:
Now, why didn't Sven take this attitude with Arsene and Alex?
"They were shit!" says David James
Breaking all records for speed of chairman idiocy, Leicester fans offered chance to be called Fossils
Sunday, February 09, 2003
Friday, February 07, 2003
Wednesday, February 05, 2003
The Taggart/Dunfemline crossover - the Radio Times correspondent won a DAB receiver for knowing the names of Pars players! Money/old rope in evidence, surely
Harrogate Railway players and staff resign en masse - check out the glamorous photo BBCi have chosen, and also consider the club's argument with the Telegraph - is it that Tony Francis?
Monday, February 03, 2003
Current Dutch League Players With Comedic Names
Brutil Hose (Ajax)
Patrick Peelen (Den Bosch)
Baz Peus (Den Bosch)
Civard Sprockel (Feyenoord)
Mischa Rooks (Sittard)
Tycha Steegs (Sittard)
Rene Bot (Graafschap)
Purrel Frankel (Graafschap)
Martijn Meerdink (Graafschap)
Arno Splinter (Graafschap)
Egbert Darwinkel (Groningen)
Santi Kolk (Heerenveen)
Zico Tumba (NEC)
Kasper Bogelund (PSV)
Rick Hoogendorpf (Waalwijk)
Fabian Peppinck (Waalwijk)
Eddy Putter (Waalwijk)
Humphrey Rudge (Roda)
Bram Marbus (Sparta)
Romeo Pengel (Sparta)
Jason Trommel (Sparta)
Sieme Zoom (Sparta)
Ellery Cairo (Twente)
Rene Ponk (Utrecht)
Michael Dingsdang (Vitesse)
Emile Mbamba (Vitesse)
Jatto Ceesay (Willem II)
Augustine Oke-Daddy (Dordrecht)
Sunday, February 02, 2003
BBC1 Scotland live game abandoned after sudden snowstorm - anyone see this? Tell us what it looked like
Denmark's Morten Wieghorst deliberately misses a wrongly given penalty - Jason McAteer's Danish passport fortunately hasn't come through yet
Oh, so apparently Sunderland can play confidently at home - must have just been taking the piss today
Saturday, February 01, 2003
December 28th : Stevenage Borough 5 Farnborough Town 0
January 28th : Farnborough's manager moves to Stevenage, with four players in tow
February 1st : lower division Tamworth 3 Stevenage 0
Nike streaker ad confirmed as fake, presumably noticed after someone mentioned British TV directors' attitude to streakers
