It's Up For Grabs Now
Saturday, November 30, 2002
Madagascan own goal scorers punished heavily - the coach was "orchestrating the debacle from the stands"? Did he have a loudhailer?
Friday, November 29, 2002
ITV admit they paid too much for the Premiership - and Andy, it's coming out of your pocket
Yes, I am still up
German Champions League viewers hear Big Ron unplugged - we like the idea that even during half time Clive and Ron discuss the game, albeit at times like you or I on the sofa with our mates
Thursday, November 28, 2002
If you're reading this and aren't on the Armchair Football list, why not? We're producing some of the best stuff ever, even if we do say so ourselves, at the moment, and it's only going to get less cliched, yet we've only got 39 subscribers at the moment, and we know there's duplicate reader addresses on there, and no-one's joined for a while. So where are you all?
Cardiff star's back problems due to differing length of legs - just don't tell Sam, OK?
Alloa 18 year old spotted on beach by Real Mallorca - 'Club 18-30' headline seems unfair, though
Wednesday, November 27, 2002
We picked this out not so much for the result as for the quote from Andy Legg in the top right hand corner - Sam Hammam as Uncle Albert, we can see that...
33ft tall statue to Carlos Valderrama erected - we must arrange a Mecca-style pilgrimage there one day
Tuesday, November 26, 2002
FA says boots to blame for injury crises - well, that's one way of losing the lucrative player deals
Fans of Spanish side will be paid to attend game - see, Charles Koppel, you've missed a trick there
Koppel says less Wimbledon fans is a good thing - like Spinal Tap, he's proud his club has a more selective following
Libyan FA complains about Government funding, although surely a chat over breakfast could settle it
Monday, November 25, 2002
64 year old woman dragged into Nou Camp wins lifetime entry to the club's games - which side did the government support in the civil war again?
Mayor of Barnsley takes over the local club - Ken Livingstone makes notes
Man City youngster misses out on debut after losing his shirt - bad betting fan, possibly
Saturday, November 23, 2002
Five off in injury time at Exeter v Cambridge, and videos are set for Goals On Sunday/Nationwide League Extra across the country
Swiss league player sent off without entering pitch (last paragraph) - we call it the Tim Flowers Effect
Friday, November 22, 2002
Timmy Mallett threatens to sue West Ham - look at Glenn Roeder and go bleurgh!
Tuesday, November 19, 2002
Wycombe manager Lawrie Sanchez blames entire county of Buckinghamshire for Cup defeat - always good to see an Ivor Beeks quote
"Although not a natural football fan, the Queen has been known to become quite animated when following the England team on TV." How do they know?
Monday, November 18, 2002
Upper class people in Fulham, eh? - you'd have thought Al Fayed of all people would be aware of that kind of thing
Sunday, November 17, 2002
Ray Stubbs opening Forest Green v Exeter : "Afterwards, the draw for the second round, and today's winners will be hoping for one of the big Premiership teams." You'd have thought he'd know
Saturday, November 16, 2002
"No-one can predict what damage a punch will do" - and that's why Wise isn't quite Audley Harrison's next opponent material yet
Mario Basler wants to develop a drinking culture - "Perhaps everyone would then speak their mind". Today, Millwall v Leicester...
Friday, November 15, 2002
Keith O'Neill set for Sicknote nickname - really, how much stuffing was in the punchball?
Thursday, November 14, 2002
Azerbaijan v Wales may be postponed over stadium and club v country arguments - maybe they should arrange a friendly against England instead
Tuesday, November 12, 2002
You mean Roy was right all along? : "Bringing journalists along meant that they had nothing to do but look for stories"? Why, they oughta...
Carlisle player was in last ten for Westlife auditions - what his soul has gained, his bank balance has lacked
Andy Booth injures himself running upstairs - they never know when to stop, do they?
Portsmouth striker quits to follow Ashes tour - well, clearly that's a wise course of action for future employment
Monday, November 11, 2002
Ross County manager resurrects "...the fans were sick and tired" line
Our Man Albert suffers timewasters - did people really send him 'How did Leicester City get in such a financial mess as they are in now?' and 'Which club does Robbie Mustoe play for?' Did he really choose to answer them?
Paul Ince and West Ham prepare to launch dual plagirism suit against Leicester and Dennis Wise : "it will all die down by then"? It's this Saturday!
The new Wayne Rooney - and something to mention Ashby-de-la-Zouch for apart from crisps and that Popstars McDonalds break bumper
Now, that had to happen sooner or later : it's next to the Eric Morecambe Suite, of course, which suggests a lack of real local heroes
Ronald de Boer learns from Patrick Kluivert's example
Sunday, November 10, 2002
Niall Quinn retires - do Shoot! still do weekly jokes about his height?
Gadaffi family consider investing in Liverpool, as well as offering a friendly for six months ago, apparently
Saturday, November 09, 2002
Posh'n'Becks do advertising for a beauty salon, you'll be shocked to learn
Eddie Gray reveals O'Leary fall-out, Venables support, so there's your man, Elland Road regulars
It's a South Korean conspiracy! revox - we'd like to see Paul Durkin's name on the forms come the next local elections
Friday, November 08, 2002
Arsene Wenger not paranoid, but that doesn't mean... - also note Bergkamp blaming ITV for highlighting a fixture featuring the league leaders
Gwyn Hughes meets Gudgin : prompted by the national team's form, as so many of that side are from the League of Wales
John Toshack rules himself out of Ireland job running, although we thought someone had to rule you in in the first place
Thursday, November 07, 2002
As pointed out by DangerHere, Eamonn Dunphy on Joe Kinnear's superior claims for the Ireland job : "Joe wouldn't take any shit from Roy. He'd have him out the door."
No.6 on Latest Reviews - what do you suppose they say about us?
This site is nothing to do with us - and neither is this, as we can only dream of FHM giving the seal of approval to a site that dedicated *cough*
Rob Hindmarch RIP - our man says "dreadful player, but one of the best ever Wolves goals against West Brom"
Wednesday, November 06, 2002
Wenger against salary caps : "we'll fiddle our own accounts!
Les Ferdinand appears in his pants for charity - note also presence of Hollyoaks actor in his underwear, Mersey TV clearly believing in sexual equality for once
Keegan may "bring the tone down" of exclusive golf club as Manchester experiences a rush on "shiny tracksuit bottoms"
There's a new Ormondroyd cartoon up over at Football Guardian, but they've forgotten to link to it. So here you go.
Yes, we admit it - we're as much in thrall to the rock'n'roll kittens as everyone else
Tuesday, November 05, 2002
David Unsworth - Chorley's Face of Culture? The block vote for Dave Spikey starts here
Anelka blows top shock - of course the Sundays slammed Blanc and friends for travelling to France rather than play in the Worthington Cup. Yeah, what's the welfare of others when there's the reputations of minor cup competitions at stake?
OK, OK, here's the Posh legal story - actually, we're on Victoria's side now that the official Peterborough site requires registration
Pete Waterman pledges to run naked through Walsall if they win the Worthington Cup - yes, that's the same Pete Waterman who has also supported Coventry and Man Utd
Monday, November 04, 2002
Maradonian Church set up - religious fervour enough to drive a man to drugs
Leicester administrators wanted to cancel 20 players' contracts - curiously, this thought to be "unwise" in terms of attracting investors
Sunday, November 03, 2002
'Reserve team for 18 months? Fine by me!' says well-paid David Batty - Leeds accounting staff probably hoping to get tips from the Albanian gang on retribution
People with half a formed idea about an obvious kidnapping brought to justice by our caring press : note that two years ago the papers reported a Victoria and Brooklyn kidnap plot, but the police file was closed after no evidence was found. We give it until Wednesday
Saturday, November 02, 2002
Seeing that Peterborough's Simon Rea was sent off for elbowing Cardiff's Robert Earnshaw all of 15 seconds into today's game reminded us of Walter Boyd's even briefer taste of the action for Swansea three years ago.
Any port in a storm for Hibs - you really have to read carefully to get the headline reference, which makes it all the better
Darius Vassell tries DIY medical on toe problem, fails - do we really want to know what kind of 'medical implement' he used?
Friday, November 01, 2002
Carl Cort takes out an order on his estranged wife - in for the idea of Cort's wife saying "do you know who I am?" when the patrons probably didn't know who her husband is
After last night's Battle Of Britain, shouldn't Graeme Souness have run onto the pitch and planted a flag of St George on the centre spot?
"We have come out of a nuclear war with these people, there are bodies everywhere" - Simon Jordan on ITV. Jordan also criticised the Sky deal, so presumably he'd much prefer no money to some money
Madagascan champions win league game 149-0, with 148 deliberate own goals - that can't stand in the record books, can it? It makes a mockery out of that whole section in the News Of The World Football Annual
Get those bids in quick - 'includes Ian Culverhouse' boast could make all the difference